Sunday, October 14, 2012


When I think about sleeping tonight, I keep getting these little white hot sparks of fear-- you know the kind, the ones that spark from your heart to your toes and into your fingertips.

It's unreasonable. It's ridiculous. But last night, I broke my record for staying up and not on purpose. I couldn't sleep until 5:30 this morning. Now, I never used to be a person who couldn't sleep-- even at slumber parties or pulling an "all nighter," 4 am was about as late/early as I could go.

I just don't understand it. Is it stress? Is it pre-menopausal crap? I am not that old. Bah. I am not very tired at all today either. Please, please let me sleep tonight... no restless legs, no running mind, please. No staring at the ceiling thinking that I'm fine, I'm not worried about anything, the world is snoring, so WHY CAN'T I FREAKING SLEEP?

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