Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The one bad habit of tired, cranky people

I have this really awful habit. Habit-- what a benign word that is; somehow that word doesn't convey the pattern I'm stuck in. I stay up far too late when I don't work the next day (and even when I do). And I know it while I'm doing it, but that doesn't seem to stop me. And to be honest, I feel just as bad when I don't stay up too late as when I do because it's like I'm missing something-- that magic, quiet house, black outside time, when the kids and husband are sleeping and I really get to decide what I do without any input or worry for anyone else. It's a little delicious. But I feel like crap right before I finally give in and sleep, and I feel like crap the next morning too.

Bah. It's an issue, but I know how to fix it. I guess it's just that 50% of me doesn't want to, even as 100% of me recognizes what a bad habit it is...

It's like I won't even try to sleep until I'm really sure I'll just drop off. No need to lie still in the dark and think, for Pete's sake. Really healthy.

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