Wednesday, January 25, 2012

This Old House

And I can't stop dreaming about houses. They are always big-- lots of space. And I'm running through it trying to get the best room to be my room (like I'm 10 again) and it's such an important decision because it'll be my room forever, and I go through the cold and dirty rooms-- some with wood floors, sandy with dirt beneath my feet. Others hold old, wrecked furniture-- a broken chair here, a cast-off old shoe there. And then I hit pay-dirt. Carpet, plush, soft, and SPACE. Such a nice large room and a big closet and a soft bed and beautiful, polished old furniture.

Last night's room of choice even had a bay window with reading seat, a dream of mine ever since I can remember. But my sister had beaten me to it, and she was being really stubborn about giving it up.

The rest of the house was amazing too. Two kitchens, several bathrooms (these are NEVER nice in my dreams though, always dirty and kinda old), big, spacious living rooms... and this one guy wanted Mike to coach the local high school football team, so he was giving us a DEAL: $85,000 for this house right in the middle of the city. Out the bay window, I could see the city's lights (no idea what city), skyscrapers and blinking apartments.

THIS is interesting. A little overwhelming, since I dreamed about pretty much every room last night. It's the second house dream this week, though. And I had one last week.

New job, new phase in life, getting back into my writing, and feeling creative... a lot of it is guesswork-- how can anyone know what my subconscious wants to say to me? Still, I also think we're all pretty similar in the way we process information, so there could be some truth to this stuff.

I don't know. But I can't stop dreaming about houses.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Guilty Pleasures

Rewatching BTVS is one of the most delicious guilty pleasures I have. That show provides entertainment, people. It's always made me laugh, even cry in one spot (just one, hush), and there's such a comforting familiarity in it. Rewatching it is like taking a cozy, warm little trip through time.

And no, I'm not even on Ambien as I write this. Just feelin' the Buffy love.

There are no high quality videos of Buffy online. This is one of my favorite bits from "Restless," the finale of Season 4, where they are all dreaming (I adore a good dream sequence). This is Giles' dream where he figures out they're all in danger and sings the exposition.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Ice storm's a'comin'

As long as we don't lose power *knocks on wood* I love that we're under a winter storm warning. We've got everything we need, and I cleaned the house, so bring it on.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

To Be Read

Or not to be read?

Here's my list. I need some order, as I've started about 10 different books and they are all in various stages of completion.

1. The Hypnotist by Lars Kepler (library book, so it needs to get read and get back)
2. Tinkers by Paul Harding (from the library as well)
3. How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff (also library)

4. And once I finish those, I will not be getting any other books from the library until I've read Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanne Clark (on Kindle).
5. There's another book on Kindle that's next: A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan.
6. Mile 81 by Stephen King (also already on the Kindle).

There. Now I have order! Watch me go.

Planner? I don't need no stinking planner...

I've forgotten everything.

This week I missed one appointment and nearly missed the other, arriving 20 minutes later than I should have. It was okay, sort of an informal appointment, but you know, not really okay. At least not to me. It makes me appear as I am-- flighty and unorganized. Never mind I have a planner now, I don't use it. It's like you live your life one way for 39 years and someone hands you a planner and BAM! you're supposed to be a natural at using it. Why yes, I am blaming everyone except the correct person... what's your point?

But seriously, I've always been someone whose schedule changes from day to day, a traveling teacher. And that funky schedule would change each semester/quarter (and I teach at two schools, one still on quarters, one on semesters, which doesn't help matters), but somehow it was this organized chaos. I was responsible to my classes and no one else. I used email like a fiend, but otherwise interacted with my students in class and went home. Or to the next school.

This new job is, well, new. I sit in an office much of the day, and I have actual appointments. I don't have to hop in the car and move from class to class, I just have to remember individual little points in time in different spots of the building.

Surely, I can do this. Surely, I can learn to USE the planner or remember to set the alarm on my phone, or ... something.

I love writing things down. I hate having to remember them. I almost forgot my son's birthday this week. ALMOST. I didn't. I got cake and balloons, and we had a nice dinner out. But... almost. Sheesh.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Structure-- I need it?

I love being home, spending the day in my bathrobe. But I love it too much, you know? After a bit, I start to feel restless and like I need to yell or run around the block. I think I'd thoroughly enjoy being unemployed (assuming we didn't need my paycheck), but I don't think it'd be good for me. I need to set an alarm and get dressed and be around people who don't just love me because we share the same last name.

Of course, if I were independently wealthy, I could totally make it work. Travel, write, remodel the house, go to the library and bookstores and spas... oh yeah, that sounds doable.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Read Anything Good Lately?

I've been catching up on Fringe and looking for a good book. I'm just not in love with what I'm reading now-- it's not bad-- The Hypnotist by Lars... and I'm too lazy to go downstairs and look at the jacket to find the author's full name. I enjoyed The Monk Downstairs, light literary mainstream, and I suffered my way through One for the Money by Evanovich. It wasn't grammatically bad, but it was boring. The plot was good, but the writing was pretty mundane-- "Then this happened and this happened. Then this other thing happened. The end." But I guess I can see why people like it-- it's certainly a quick and easy read.

But I'm looking for something I can escape into. I want a book, or better yet a series of books, that I don't want to put down. I haven't experienced that in a while. I miss that Stephen King high.

Any suggestions are appreciated. Lately, I'm very disillusioned with the YA I've found to read. It's just not up to par in the prose or character development departments. It can be, but I've picked up some real losers lately. I also like horror, but I'm more into magic realism these days. There has to be a good magic realism novel that I haven't read yet, but if there is, I haven't found it.

In other news, work is good. I like having my evenings back.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Focus on the Positives

I'm good at relaying feeling and tone in my writing. It's my gift. I struggle with dialogue, but I'm aces with character (right up until the dialogue has to happen, haha). But I can work on dialogue, and some of it's good, especially the "feeling" kind of dialogue.

Anyway, that's something I'm good at and something I'm sort of bad at. Something else I'm bad at? Willpower to get it done. Also something I can work on.

And since I'm in love with the idea of fresh starts, second chances, and resolutions, here are a few of mine for this year:

Reach my goal weight by May/June.

Spend time with my God.

Help my son get back on track with school.

Write my freaking novel. Get that first draft out by spring. Totally doable.

Apply to grad school... I think. This one needs thought and deliberation. This may or may not be the right year for that.

Bake a souffle. Chocolate or cheese, either one.

I'm sure I'll think of others. I'd like to read a book a week. Spend more time with all three of my boys, travel to a new state. I'm trying to talk the husband into a trip to Nashville. I've got to get out beyond the borders we've drawn for ourselves!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012