Thursday, December 1, 2011

Letting Go

I can't relax. Mostly, it's this unfinished feeling I have. There are so many things up in the air right now, unresolved bits, and I just want them to get resolved, fall back into place, be finished already. It's awful.

The other part of it is that I'm a stupid people pleaser. I hate that about myself. Or maybe it's just that I can't stand for people to dislike me, which feels like another side of the same coin. Either way, it's hard to just chill and wait. Oh, how I hate the waiting game.

So, if recognizing the problem is half the battle, why don't I feel better? And how do you just "get over it" if that's the way you've been living for... well, forever? I don't really know. But tonight, I'm going to try just letting it all go since I have no control over it all anyway.

1 comment:

  1. I prayed for you earlier today. Not like that's supposed to make you magically feel better, because the problems are still there. Hang in there.

    To let things go, I read the Tao te Ching. I know that's not very Christian of me, but I think in a roundabout way it is since there's truth in it.

    Oooooh, the other thing is, I read this quote which is on my fridge:

    "I beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

    - Rainer Maria Rilke

    Also this:

    "Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."

    - Unknown

    Yeah, both of those are on my refrigerator.

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