Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It's human to feel alone.

My son is tormented tonight. He says he feels alone and is scared. I don't even know how to begin to approach this, even though I know why it's happening. Last night, he was watching recordings of his favorite game on youtube, watching what other kids have recorded themselves doing on the game. Youtube will often suggest videos to watch over to the side. He clicked on one called "recording."

It ended up being a filmed suicide. He was very disturbed by it, obviously. He told me about it, and I sat down, ready to disprove the video and show him it was fake, only to do a little research and learn that it was very real.

So tonight, he says it's not the video. He says he's just scared and alone and he doesn't know why. But, c'mon, too much of a coincidence, don't you think? I read him one of my favorite, most comforting verses: Psalm 55:22 and then prayed with him, reminding him that God is always with us and that he is surrounded by the love of his family and his God.

I'm just worried about him. Sitting in the living room typing this instead of up in my bedroom, so he can hear me typing until he falls to sleep.

Sometimes, I hate the internet.

3 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh. I was thankfully warned away from YouTube suicide videos. (My friend Thomas told me how disturbing they are, and he's a disturbing person to start out with... so if he's disturbed...) Some are fake but some are real, and who wants to see the fake ones anyway. So I never looked. It's sad he accidentally found this.

    And yeah, he was probably just reminded of the option of suicide. When I hear about people choosing to die, I reflect on my own life and think, "What am I choosing to stay alive for?"

    But there are probably a hundred psychological roots sprouting out of that same catalyst. (Besides if he admits the video did disturb him, you might ban him from YouTube, haha. That's what I'd be afraid my mom would do.)

    He'll be okay.

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  2. And I agree with your title. Lately I've been thinking part of the maturing process is realizing you are alone and everything that comes with it.

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  3. He's better tonight. I noticed that he did sleep with his door open tonight, which is unusual for him. =/

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