Wednesday, August 11, 2010

You're My Default

And I find it a little sad, a little disappointing that after all of the years and the thousands of people I've met, I still dream about you.

We are young again, you are back and begging, and even behind my closed, dreaming eyes, I think, "Where did you come from?" And I find that dream projection of myself wondering if I can trust you this time. Telling, that even in a world I've created through quiet night hours and subconscious thoughts of my own, I can't trust you. And more telling still is the fact that I so desperately want to.

Twenty years can pass, and in those dreams it is a matter of days. And I'm trying to hide from you, from that conversation, from those memories, even as you pursue me with pictures drawn and letters written, cards created, a schoolboy once more-- I try to reconcile that with who I am now.

And I always awake confused. Because in waking life, I am happy. I am content with my world, the people that surround me, and so it surprises me to wake with a feeling of loss, my chest aching just as though I'd been crying in my sleep.

1 comment:

  1. Laura

    Keywords: Shark, Segorian, Comedy of Terrors, Idiot

    First, if I may, my thanks for your comment in the Shark's deep waters in respect of my Query letter for Comedy of Terrors.

    So why am I gibbering at you? Mostly because gibberish is one of the few languages in which I am fluent, but more also because I'm running CoT through a near-final cycle of beta readers. Would you be amused/ interested in taking a look at it and letting me know if in fact the work itself _does_ come anywhere close to the amusement value of the Query?

    I'd put an address here, but I don't tend to set it out in public. Anyway, I'm at work at the moment, so I wouldn't see see any replies till I get home. But if you're interested, let me know where I can reach you. Either way, my thanks for the comment!

    The Idiot


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