I wanted to write about the way death comes even on sun dappled days, birds singing, light breezes blowing. More sudden, more painful juxtaposed against a summer blue sky.
I am sitting in the open office at the college at which I work. I was planning my lesson plans, feeling quite smug that I was ahead and would have time to get caught up with other things this afternoon. The day is gorgeous. My view is a lined by blinds view of a sunny, breezy, happy day. And as I looked at students moving back and forth across the street, the phone rang. Immediately the feeling in the office rose with the pitch in her voice. She sobbed. "He's dead?" she cried, just one wall separating us. A bird chirped, hopping on the sidewalk in my view. She began to really cry. "I'm coming. Did you call 911?"
And I can't imagine how someone can fade away when the greens and blues are so vivid outside my window. That you can be doing something as mundane as secretary work and lose someone you love.
I empath. I want to cry with her, for her, this girl I don't know of trembling voice on the other side. I will have to force my smiles this afternoon.